


fuck's sake, i'm already urs

by seolle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, I'm so sorry, M/M, Mark is an Asshole, donghyuck deserves better, inspired by urs-niki, this is my comeback piece and i'm writing markhyuck angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-31 00:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19038460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seolle/pseuds/seolle
Summary: Donghyuck knows he’s setting himself up for pain and misery, but Donghyuck also knows he’s a fool and when you ask him if he would jump off a cliff for Mark Lee, he most certainly would answer yes.





	fuck's sake, i'm already urs

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: title taken from and inspired by urs - niki.  
> listen to it here https://open.spotify.com/track/50oEtTUNlce4TuZXQoJzXW?si=II7YQuCQRBmnbRDABlMgdQ

Donghyuck wakes up beside him, beside Mark, black hair mussed on top of his head, bare shoulders against his own embellished with purple bruises that was a testament to how much Donghyuck was willing to give to Mark. Waking up beside Mark feels like a blessing and a curse all at the same time. A blessing Donghyuck takes because even just for a night, it felt like Mark chose him, wanted him. It felt like he wasn’t just a person whom Mark kisses fervently without inhibitions when things go wrong between him and his girlfriend. A curse, because it’s a reminder for Donghyuck that when tomorrow comes, when the sun is shining brightly and is seeping through Mark’s white curtains, he still can’t have what he wants.

All there ever is to their relationship, if you can even call it that, is hushed whispers exchanged between the two of them enunciated with lies. _“I need you in my life, Hyuck. I don’t know what I’ll do if you’re gone.”_ Mark says to him one night, his arms wrapped around Donghyuck’s middle and lips brushing against the lobe of the other’s ear.

Donghyuck hums and looks up to Mark’s eyes.

_“I’m never leaving you. Ever.”_

It hurts but he’ll always take whatever Mark can give him.

-

If you ask Lee Donghyuck, 19, a music major at a prominent university in Seoul why he would ever pine for someone he knows he can’t have, he wouldn’t be able to give you any answer either. Maybe because Mark makes him feel important (even though he knows he isn’t) or it gives him the validation of being Mark’s medicine when it all goes to shit between him and his girlfriend. Donghyuck knows he’s setting himself up for pain and misery, but Donghyuck also knows he’s a fool and when you ask him if he would jump off a cliff for Mark Lee, he most certainly would answer _yes_.

Donghyuck’s nose was buried in sheet music all day, all thoughts of Mark temporarily leaving his brain. Only for a moment though, as his phone is currently ringing and Mark is the one on the other side of the line.

“Hello?” Donghyuck slurs through the phone, rubbing at his sleep-deprived eyes. He hears Mark giggling on the other line and a loud noise of a shitty EDM song playing in the background. So Mark is at a club.

“Donghyuck! I’m so glad you answered!” Mark says, sounding a little too happy and a little too drunk to even be calling someone at his state. Donghyuck is suddenly awake, all semblance of sleepiness long gone.

“I- I’m drunk! And- and the guards want to kick me out! I don’t wanna be kicked out, Hyuck!” Mark drunkenly slurs.

“Just stay where you are, okay? I’m picking you up. Don’t do any reckless shit. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Donghyuck responds and with that, he’s tying his shoelaces on and picking up his coat from the rack.

When Donghyuck arrives at the club, Mark is shitfaced drunk. His form hunched over the bar counter and his eyes can barely keep themselves open. He walks over to him and tries to shake Mark awake.

“Donghyuck! I-I wanna get out of here. Please- just, I-I don’t wanna be here anymore.” Mark is clinging to his arm and his body is heavy but Donghyuck tries his best to prop the drunk boy’s arm on his shoulder properly so they could get out of the dingy club already.

“Okay, we’re gonna get out of here,” Donghyuck reassures him as they walk through sweaty bodies and make their way to the exit.

Donghyuck hails a cab outside of the club all the while still lugging Mark around. He pushes Mark inside and tells the cab driver the address to Mark’s apartment.

Donghyuck rests the elder’s head on his shoulder, gazing at the other’s features. Even while being piss drunk, Mark still manages to look like the most beautiful person in Donghyuck’s eyes. Mark presses his nose further to the crook of Donghyuck’s neck muttering something along the lines of “I miss you.”

Donghyuck makes a wish to the stars that it was him who Mark misses.

-

They’ve arrived at Mark’s place, Donghyuck picking up the spare key from under the doormat. He drags Mark towards his bedroom, finally laying him on the bed. Donghyuck’s shoulders were beginning to get sore but he doesn’t mind. He never minds when it comes to Mark.

He removes Mark’s shoes and socks and places them on the shoe rack. He leaves the room to get a bowl of cold water and a face towel to cool the other down.

Mark lays still despite Donghyuck wiping his face with the cold towel. Donghyuck wants to ask what happened this time but he stops himself because he doesn’t know if he can handle the answer it’ll bring.

The elder stirs in his bed, pulling Donghyuck beside him and wrapping his arms around the younger. All of a sudden, Mark is kissing his neck slowly going up and up towards his lips. Mark kisses him like he’s hanging on to the last string, the last anchor, the last hope. It doesn’t feel like _love_ and yet Donghyuck responds, kissing him back because even though it hurts, this is the only time he feels like Mark is choosing him for once. They kiss and kiss even though it doesn’t feel right anymore, maybe it never did right from the start, Donghyuck still wraps his arms a little tighter around Mark. A little semblance of a piece of him still holding onto the hope that they have a future together, that he still sees a picture of him and Mark in their own world.

Mark is on top of him, mouths holding onto each other as if they’re on their last breath. Donghyuck knows that Mark wishes it were her he was kissing, not him. It were her Mark’s hands roam all around. It were her who was laying beside him in the middle of the night while the moon casts a flicker of light on Mark’s window.

They’re not meant for each other. They aren’t meant to be together. Mark can never be his.

_“But fuck, I’m already yours.”_


End file.
